Fuggin' Broke

I'm not poor. We're not poor. We're your average lower middle class couple, we're just not all that great at managing our finances. We do our best to stick some away, we're putting money away for our retirement, we live a relatively comfortable life, but we also pretty much live paycheck to paycheck (the great American dream, right?).

So when things don't go as they're supposed to it fuggs up the works. Like now.

First off, I "took one for the team" by taking a half a step back at work to take over a position so that we could get rid of an employee that wasn't cuttin' the mustard. I did knowing that I'd be taking a bit of a cut in pay as I'd be leaving a sales position and therefore losing some earning potential, but believing that the president would make up for it.

I believed wrongly. I'm losing a good buck an hour or better and there has, as of yet, been no move to compensate me

Secondly, two payments from a third party that I was relying on have fallen through. One was due beginning of September, the other is due first of December. Combined we're looking at twelve hundred bucks that's supposed to be in my checking account that isn't, and isn't going to be. Puts me in a bit of a pickle as things have been a bit lean already.

I'm supposed to be taking a business trip to Minnesota tomorrow and my checking account is EmpTy. My savings dried up a couple of months ago and hasn't recovered and to make things worse, my wife is supposed to be taking a trip with the girls to Vegas for a few days next month. Oh, yeah...and then there's that whole "Holiday Season" thing, right?

I'm a bit behind the eight ball and I'm not sure what to do. Power & Light is overdue. I'm very, very broke today and tomorrow. Vegas coming up. Christmas coming up. And I can't find anywhere to dig up some extra funds and there is NO way to replace the $1200 I'm not getting from that third party.

I know it'll all work out, I just hate being in this position. Especially since we make enough money that if we just managed it a bit better... There's just no reason to be here. No excuses. I'm just a piss poor manager of money and it kind of saddens me.

Just feeling a little sorry for myself and I shouldn't. We've got it pretty good. A helluva lot better than a helluva lot of others. I need to keep reminding myself of that. I need to learn to better appreciate what I have and be a better steward of what's been given me.

Starting today...I just plain need to do better than I have. Period.